writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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