I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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