Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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