i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
