What a fucking waste of an outfit
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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