You're my little dorito
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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