I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
