you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
