I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Terrible idea I love it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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