No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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