OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize