yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
