For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
