I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
