i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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