Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A bitchslap is in order.
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