ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
