He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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