I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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