barbara walters just said penis...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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