I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize