We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
