How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So many bounce houses so little time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize