at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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