dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
