I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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