my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
