there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize