I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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