If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
