just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize