Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
