I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize