If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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