she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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