no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
