Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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