He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
