that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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