You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
