i just google imaged poop.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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