How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
