He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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