I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
