Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize