I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize