That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
