Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
