areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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