We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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