I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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