I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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