Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
