every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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