At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
