I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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