Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
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