WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
