Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
