I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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