the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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