Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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