I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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