I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
