i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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