it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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