you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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