What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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