What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize