wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
