she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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