a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Success! We fucked roommates!
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